Osu! Tatake! Ouendan! 2

It’s worth mentioning also that I recently picked up a copy of Osu! Tatake! Ouendan! 2 for the DS (full title: Moero! Nekketsu Rhythm Damashii: Osu! Tatake! Ouendan! 2), which I’ve now had the privilege of playing a little of. I still can’t read Japanese, so there’s not really a lot to say except that it’s largely identical to the first time around, with the gameplay, setlist and stories being pretty much identical in quantity and quality to the original.

If you haven’t played the first Ouendan, then you need to know that this is the series that was adapted to the English-speaking world as Elite Beat Agents. You play three male cheerleaders who are drawn into a variety of off-the-wall situations by downtrodden citizens of Japan and must use your magical powers of coordinated dance to save the day. This consists of tapping circles on the DS screen in time to a song. It’s a heapin’ helpin’ o’ fun.

Ouendan 2 sees the original cheerleaders going up against a new blue-clad bunch in what is apparently the Japanese equivalent of Bring It On. It would have benefited hugely from the inclusion of Kirsten Dunst and Eliza Dushku, but whatever works. You play, at various points, both teams, but as far as I can see all this rivalry only amounts to a cosmetic difference, with the basic circle-tapping action playing out in exactly the same fashion as always. The difficulty is once again set firmly to “crippling”, with the developers sneering at the pitiful gaijin whose brutish fingers are not worthy even to hold this gameplay masterpiece. Despite me having reached the highest difficulty in Elite Beat Agents, Ouendan 2 has me struggling manfully to even complete the “tutorial” difficulty. Oh, those wacky Japanese.

Anyway, if you’re a fan of male dance posses and nun-punchingly difficult gameplay then Ouendan 2 is absolutely up your alley and you should acquire yourself an import copy posthaste. Posthaste, I say.