Friday, January 16, 2009

PoupeeGirl - Made Of Meat

Meet OuchMyFace.  She lived all of about six hours.  We'll miss you, spunky lady.
If you're lucky, you've not heard of PoupeeGirl, the strange Japanese community founded on vicious consumerism and virtual paper dolls. It's like Facebook, except everyone's a 14-year-old Japanese girl or a 20-something-otaku.

The goal of PoupeeGirl is simple - show off your expensive-label fashion collection via unique photos, and thereby win the internet. Posting photos, and commenting on photos of others, gets you the game's virtual currency, which can be spent on questionable clothing for your virtual avatar.

The discussion here isn't very deep - comment threads can run to 10+ pages of "Cute!!!" and "Super-cute!!!" - which might have something to do with the gestapo-like thought police who rule this virtual nation from on high.

Led by authoritarian community manager Katharine, the jackbooted minions of PoupeeGirl's management will be quick to strip you of your photographs, your clothes, and your virtual currency for the slightest infraction of the PoupeeGirl rules. Such infractions include posting a non-unique photograph, depicting someone's face in a photograph, or mislabelling a scarf as a stole.

Spurred on by a certain PoupeeGirl player of my acquaintance (who shall not be named for fear of reprisals), I today entered this community for the purpose of what are commonly referred to as "the lolz". Soon my blonde-banged avatar "OuchMyFace" was installed in a brand new Poupee Room and ready to get fashionable.

The Meatbag is a popular fashion accessory in Rwanda.  Apparently.
I've always believed it's important to get ahead of the trend, and if you've been around the traps you'll probably be aware that the next wave in fashion is meat. Lots and lots of meat. So I quickly uploaded some "choice cuts" from my closet for the approval of the masses. Above you'll see my "meatbag". Other selections included a range of "phone dangles" that looked surprisingly like shavings of roast beef, a "hat" that bore a certain resemblance to a decapitated pig's head, and the home-made costume I wore to Halloween last year where I went dressed as an entire pork roast still on the spit.

Step two was to make some friends. I got busy! I whipped up a collection of effervescent teen-girl-style compliments, added a reference to meat to each one, and then parsed them through Google Translator into Japanese and back. Instant teenspeak! The garbled grammar made up for my suspicious insistence on capital letters and punctuation.

For perfume:
It captures the essence of meat in a brave waft of madness. Don't you think it is an INFUSION? A pork infusion. The smell of cooking meat makes me think of eternity. I rate you two pigs out of a possible three.

For Hello Kitty earrings:
Hello Kitty's cute - she is made of raw meat cat! This is all her life! It is the best - and now you can hang from her ears! Babe!

For pyjama pants:
Since wearing the pants, it is important today. Practically anyone, do not have the pants are fine and eating a hamburger meat. And both my feet, please refer to the trend of the development potential and the lamb chops! Fashion victory!

I was an instant success, garnering friends, comments, accolades, and attention on the LiveJournal Community.

Agent Katharine and cohort.  They can taste your stink, and every time they do, they fear that they've somehow been infected by it.
But all good things must come to an end, and less than six hours after I created her, OuchMyFace discovered that her ability to post images had been revoked. The fuzz had found her, and now she was going down Rodney King-style. It seems that the bleeding edge of tomorrow's fashion was just a little too bloody for the powers that be at PoupeeGirl, and the humourless killbots that inhabit those dreary domains had begun spamming the "exile" button.

The account still technically exists - feel free to friend it and examine such meaty offerings as it still has attached to it. But the fire has gone out of OuchMyFace's meaty heart, and she will post her pork-clothes no more.

Rest in peace, OuchMyFace. We'll miss you.

15 comments:

ellji said...

The Internet: Serious Business.

Katherine said...

I am, in equal parts, disturbed and amused.

Anonymous said...

and they even miss you!


"toxic_chocolate wrote in [info]poupee_girl,
@ 2009-01-17 00:20:00

SHE SLIPPED AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Aw, our meatlover got brownboxed."

Anonymous said...

^ also I will now take every opportunity to refer to you as a "meatlover"

Wolflullaby said...

This is a masterpiece!! I had a look at the account and all the photos you posted.

The comments you posted were fabulous. And the LJ comments about you were hilarious, heaps of people liked the weird meat girl.

A+

ataritastic said...

I hate how PG is so "SRS BSNS OMG" so we can't have joke accounts. I love the site, it's fun, but it could do with some levity.

I thought you, as MeatGirl, were hilarious, and I was honoured to get a comment from you on a jacket!

HAPPYAOI said...

I can't remember what item of mine you commented on, but I loved you.

Anonymous said...

Damn the fuzz! Seriously, OuchMyFace will be missed among a lot of us Poupee girls, cause... I'm a vegetarian, and I absolutely loved your bloody closet. Wish I knew Japanese to fight on your behalf to get you un-brown boxed, cause I loved it. Prissy little "ewwww, meat" girls in the lj community be damned, I found it funny. I bet they were the little brats you turned you in.

xxmeeko101 said...

I am also a current member of Poupee girl. Katharine loves to impliment rules and regulations that should not exist. I admit to using some of the blog parts from this site as they are quite cute, but that doesn't excuse the fact that Katharine makes a lot of money off of this site. Waste of resources! - no pun intended. I loved your article! It had me rolling all over the floor. You captured it to a "T"

Gloria said...

Found your blog when my boyfriend was googling "how to kill poupee girl" after realising what I've been doing. Love your entry, very true.

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