Australia Wii Virtual Console Launch Titles

Following is a complete list of the classic games that will be available for download in Australia via the Wii Virtual Console when the system hits stores on Thursday.

* Donkey Kong
* Mario Bros
* Wario's Woods.

And... that's all. Note that there's no "Super" next to "Mario Bros" either. Let me know if you actually feel like paying money for any of those titles so I can laugh at you and question your masculinity. Plus this little gem:

The TurboGrafx system never made it to Australia and New Zealand, and those countries will again not receive TurboGrafx games.

Sorry, what? And that makes sense how? I guess with all the Sony bashing, Nintendo were feeling lonely and left out.

You know what's NOT on that list, that other countries are already able to download and play? Warning: those subject to bouts of demented sobbing and teeth gnashing may wish to look away.

* Bomberman 93
* The Legend of Zelda
* F-Zero
* SimCity
* Super Mario 64
* Altered Beast
* Sonic the Hedgehog
* Ecco the Dolphin
* Golden Axe

Again, in case it's not clear, Australia will NOT be getting those games at launch. That sound you can hear is the squeaky laugh of Ecco the Dolphin as he taunts you while fighting time-travelling underwater aliens.

All of this is via Go Nintendo, and I don't really have any experience with how reliable they are prior to today, so for all I know they could be lying through their snaggly inbred little teeth, but it sounds true, and really, isn't that what's important? They're sourcing it from Nintendo World Report, a fairly obnoxious site that uses popups (visit at your own risk).

Thanks to Curmudgeon Gamer for the heads-up.

UPDATE: This turned out to all be horrible puppy-kicking lies, except for the bit about TurboGrafx games. The launch lineup was actually quite decent and it expanded quickly over December. This is the last time I trust Go Nintendo for my news. Pfah, I spit upon their graves.