Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Game of the Year

[Game Design]

As E3 approaches and we wait with bated breath to hear what games will revolutionise the gaming world in the coming year, I'd just like to use my psychic powers to reveal the single title which will pull in the big dollars this year. It's in development right now, and it's called Global World Combat: Shadow of the Subtitle.

Here's a quick rundown...

The game will be a massively multiplayer online game where players will interact in a gritty fantasy setting, using realistic modern weapons and powerful magic spells to defeat terrorist Nazis with the fate of the universe at stake! Choose from a wide range of races including robots and elves, and a diverse range of classes including fighter, pet handler, and glorified bandaid!

Each and every character sports an edgy attitude that'll make you grit your teeth with pleasure - and you'll need it, as you drive real-life vehicles at high speeds through a persistent urban fantasy environment littered with crime and realistic glowering hovering power-ups. Level up stats! Collect bigger and better equipment! Delve into a wide array of poorly explained dungeons! Capture baby terrorist Nazis in magic balls and train them to fight on your side! Boasting a huge array of unlockable content (including 95% of the game), gratuitous semi-naked hot elf babes, and nail-biting PvP combat where sleep and employment are for the weak, Global World Combat: Shadow of the Subtitle is set to revolutionise everything you know about games - are you man enough for the challenge?

...

If you don't see this exact title at E3, it's possible they renamed it at the last minute. But I'm pretty sure you'll be able to recognise it from the gameplay. I'm excited already!

2 comments:

Julia B said...

And here I was getting really excited about playing that, right up until I realised you were fibbing to me. :-(

GregT said...

Then you'd probably also be interested in Grand Theft Pokemon, an exciting cross-branding project going forward in 2007. Gotta catch 'em all, muthafucka.