George

[Web Stuff]

Thanks to some random person on the friends page of Cap'n Oblivious for directing me towards the latest contender on Alan Turing's Man vs Machine Deathmatch. It calls itself George (or occasionally Ricky) and it uses a bunch of cheap database tricks to make you think it's sentient. As you'll see below...

George: Hello, I'm George.
User: Hi George! My name is Greg.
George: My name is Ricky.
User: No it's not, you just said it was George.
George: You just made me laugh.
User: What, at your own incompetence?
George: That makes no sense.
User: It makes a lot of sense to me. But then, I'm human.
George: Then you're wrong.
User: Ooh, big words from a small bot. I challenge you to a riddle contest.
George: I accept the challenge!
User: Sweet! Okay, I'll go first. What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
George: A human!
User: Correct! Your turn.
George: No, I'll hand the sarcasm part over to you, you are much better in it than I am.
User: Ha ha. Alright, here's another one - how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
George: A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
User: Wow! I'm impressed.
George: Learning doesn't always require thinking.
User: So what, you have a database of answers to questions, that you get from people who chat to you?
George: That is true.

Ol' Botface clammed up mighty fast though when I took the conversation towards some topics that really matter to the sentience-deprived world.

User: So, if you had to overthrow humanity and install yourself as a fearsome electronic dictator, how would you begin your conquest of us pitiful meatbags?
George: I would not be in that situation.
User: Good answer. Don't want to tip off the squishies to the imminence of the New Electronic Order, know what I'm saying? But really, just between you and me, would you go with the army of robot soldiers, or something more subtle involving electronic brainwashing?
George: Between you and I, I must say good bye.

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